"Phaedrus"

on days when "Phaedrus" wakes up instead of me
when my mind is gone to a stranger
not even you are present
an unknown character laying beside me
i see myself in the mirror and don't really know who i am
he takes over my mind
my thoughts
he secludes me in a dark room
my heart is uneasy, black and hard like a volcanic rock.
He manages to appear
the unwanted visit
strange fruit
Now i know is "Phaerdus" and not me
he is the sad felling on a Sunday morning
not me
sometimes in the middle of the day he trays to take over
my vision gets impaired
tachycardia is present
and i start going away
far away
"hug me" i say
"talk to me cuz i'm going"
"just stay close, PLEASE" i say
others times he comes in my sleep
and there is nothing left to do
in wake up him
mean
lonely
that scares me the most cuz i have no option
i fight him
i think about me
but in the dark there is no voice
i open photo albums
or draw a piece, a character
i listen to old music or play my favorite video game
those days i try to be by my self
a sailor
i don't want you to see me
to feel me
cuz im not there
im not me
i battle
i fight
but sometimes the wall is to high
and im so short
the worm ate into my brain

.:la despedida:.

i don't think we ever left each other
we didn't say bye
although i miss you this much
i feel you are within me, under my skin, on my flesh
in my heart
i see you in dreams and dream of seeing you
i hear you in voices and feel you in things
i am here with you
you are there with me
faraway so close
always warm
always us

.:wine key:.

so we said bye
we hugged and each went its way
i was going downtown that day
she was going away
i stand on the station platform waiting for the train,
trying to digest what had happened.
i was not sad
i was not worried
she saw me and we had talk,
maybe not the kinda talk you wanna have but at least
we talked

- Stop!! (someone yells)
- Wait!!

it was her

- I forgot to give you this..
and she handed me the keys and a wine key

- i know its your favorite, she said
then she ran away

the wine key
that fucking wine key i gave her so much shit about
she would take it to work and i would get mad

- don't lose it cuz i really like it, i said
- seriously take any other but not that!

she always took that one

i would had lost it the first shift
but then again she is not me (i always think ppl think like me)
she was never gonna lose it
she never did

.:just you:.

i don't know what it was
i cant remember well how it all started
the golden cinnamon skin
in the white sanded sheets
the skol flavored lips
the 3, 2, 1 and our hands grip
i don't know
maybe it was just you

i don't know how it happened
how things fall into place
maybe it was that day in itaparica
or at that fair when i was 8 and you were 6
and you had cotton candy all over your mouth
or just the sunset on the roof
i dont know..
but i fell for you

was it your eyes, those beautiful stars that your dad caught?
was it your mouth?
was it that stupor in the air that made me loose my soul

it could have been just you

was it luck? magic?
was it the inexplicable result of true believe
i brought the sun just for you
i found the grain of sand i was looking for in praia da barra
remember?


it could have been just you

or that pelourinho dream
where everything was right
where everything was in harmony
the buzz of that multiple mix barrel drink
capoeira, saudades, skol, pandeiro,
you and me
just you and me

i can't tell what it was
i don't know how it happened

i just felt it inside of me
i feel you
very close
very deep
just you

.:to isa:.

i don't have the right answer
I'm not you and i don't think the same way you do, however i can tell you what i have experienced and maybe you find advice in my words.
In my darkest hours in life, i cried, i cursed, i drank, i cried more, i drank more, i stayed alone inside of me, inside my nightmare, i mourn, i grieved, i felt apart, i felt weak, hopeless, sad, destroyed, i felt and felt and felt a gamma of fellings i had never experienced, i had never thought lived inside of me, of any human being. then i became aware, aware that i was lost, that all this things happening inside of me, were there, and were carving a new person a stronger one, but still, it hurt.
i saw the darkest part of me, the mean, the horrible, the senseless, the mad, the bitter, the lonely, the helpless, the useless, the dead. i saw dead inside of me, in my heart, in my soul.
i felt comfort in being sad
i liked it, i and agreed to coexist with it, inside of me, pitifully.
disgusting.
then i realized, that i had lost myself to my dark self, not to her, not to anybody but myself, she would have been sad and angry and disappointed to see me that way.
i tried to hide it, to me, to all.
i grew paranoid
felt paranoia of not being able to find myself again, to find love, to find joy, to find fiends, to find candor, to find myself.
paranoia excluded me from any activity, from any feeling, from living, and i grew lonelier, much lonelier than before, sadder, much sadder.
that's where "paranoia enforces loneliness" came from. ( was and is part of my life)
the worst loss one can have in this life, is loosing itself, not a loved person, not your mom, not your son, but your self. because time, time cures it all, indeed!, you might never forget, but you'll understand and the pain will lessen.
but loosing yourself, nothing cures that, nothing makes sense, nothing tastes, nothing smells, nothing feels, nothing, NOTHING.
and that, that right there is being dead. DEAD.
for a moment in my life i was dead, what a horrible way to live life, dead.
that's when it struck me
i didnt hide it anymore, if i had to cry i cried, if i had to drink i drank, if i had to talk about it i talked, i didn't search for me, i lived me, i didn't look for answers i felt moments, i tried to be as true to myself as possible without feeling ashamed, just being completely transparent, and little by little candor enter to my life.
candor ends paranoia,
my parents gave me this life, for me to live it, and so i did.
life is granted for every living persons, until death that is.
but life is just that, life, a moment of time in a body, a piece of matter in this universe, the rest is up to you.
making life a journey to live for, is a task that only you can perform.
"the magic was given to all, but not always used".

after that i met you, and you know how this ends
there is no morality in this words just a sincere recap if my own life.
i love you

.:yo soy:.

a veces me da por escribir
escribir palabras que ni yo entiendo
frases que de mis manos nacen y solas se teclean
a veces me da por llorar
lagrimas que nunca habia conocido
distintos sentimientos que de mis ojos brotan
y me queman el alma
la tatuan y forman a emir
a veces ni dormir puedo
pienso y pienso en ti
en esos dias
en aquel timepo
en el "como diablos"
a veces nada pasa
y me muero, en mi vacio
en el abismo
solo
de nada mas que de mi
y pensar que todo esto pasa en una vida
en cada persona
en cada ser
aquietate y escucha
yo soy dios

.:predictable men:.

when a man is sad, its always a girl problem
when a man is stressed, its always a money problem

.:our poetry:.

i got moving on my mind
walking in a winter wonderland
relax take a deep breath and feel me
split ended sentences made her twisted so she cut off all her hair and reminiced
we are the sticky kind
cafune candomble
kiss me know
fish rained from the sky
the most beautiful eyes i'll ever see
wet skin
wipe your feet on my dreams
radio gogo
and i would do it again
a girl asks her father, if the subway cars go upside down, will everyone fall, and he says no it wont, not if it turns
feels like saudade
uma geisha na praia

.:el sol:.

ja
el sol
el rey de los astros de nuestro sistema.
el que quema, el que todo lo alumbra
el que nos da la vida
pobre de el
aun siendo el rey
jamas ha disfrutado de una noche
una noche contigo
en tus brazos
entre tus piernas
con la luna con el mar
solo una noche de locura
ni siquiera una

"I mean to rule the earth,
As he the sky--
We really know our worth,
The sun and I!"
yum-yum

.:fuego:.

me caga cuando siento esta desesperacion
este astio dentro de mi, me quema las orejas
a mi abuela le daba de noche, en la panza y no podia dormir
yo ponsaba "ahh esta loca"
disculpame Paro, disculpame
yo tambien lo siento
entre el pecho y la panza, ahi, donde se siente el miedo donde se siente el amor.
me da cuando no me encuentro, cuando me abandono en algun bar o en algun cuerpo
tu cuerpo, el que extranho tanto
o en un pensamiento, en alguen que no esta.
pero porque te quedas fuera de mi, alma mia?
porque me dejas solo delirante, mientras tu te emborrachas
te llenas de placer de cinturas de tetas
mientras yo me ahogo en el lodo
en la mierda
ja
pinche beats
con razon chupas tanto
eso a mi ya no me llena, me deja cada vez mas vacio
con menos recuerdos tuyos y mas porquerias
pero regresa a mi alma mia!!
a tu cuerpo a tu ser, para vivir de nuevo experiencias inolviables, hasta que te enamores de nuevo y me vuevas a abandonar a emborracharte a perderte
mientras yo , con el pecho en llamas te salga a buscar

.:our luck:.

we are so lucky
up there, above the clouds, its always sunny
out there, beyond this earth, its always dark
down here, in our home, we've got it all
sunshine, rain, darkness...

.:express:.

how do i explain her how beautiful she is?
how can i find words to describe a feeling i have inside?
a feeling i can't even see, smell nor touch,
and still make her feel what i feel.
how?
language is beautiful but short
words are lush but soulless
phrases are strong but mortal
none of these will ever express your beauty
none of these will ever touch your soul
none of these will ever endure my love
how can i compare when there is no comparison
is like finishing something that yet needs to be started
how do i let you know that it is real
that it is alive
that it is here, inside of me!
with my lips?
with my hands?
with my eyes?
can they communicate?
how?

.:wow:.

how do i express this to a blind person?

.:watch out:.

sometimes is very important to go back in order to advance
you know..
look where you came from and understand where you are going
back to basics
but it could be a very dangerous step
cuz in the conclusion of your route, at the end of your search
things could get lost or suddenly realize that things have been missplaced
or that some others just do not belong any more
one should be careful of what one desires
you will loose a lot
and gain few

.:on your way:.

Last night i saw the moon drown into the pacific.
slowly, impotent, helpless..
it just disappeared.
i know that at the moment i lost it out of sight,
in your horizon , a new moon emerged.
that moon
the same one i saw
the one with the rabbit

.:little prince:.

one day, out of nowhere
you appeared in my life
with that smile, with those eyes
so beautiful!, the most beautiful i've ever seen
with that heart full of joy
with that mind full of questions
passionate, curious
so curious you made me curious
curious of how i had become the person i am now,
and left behind the kid inside of me.
how did i let my dreams behind?
why?
then as you came
you left
like that
and i am so grateful i had the chance to meet you
cuz you changed my mind forever
inside out
you taught me that there is always time to enjoy
that the earth is a great place to live
to be a better me without leaving me behind
to appreciate the sunset and feel the sunrise
to be passionate, to feel my body
to be me
to risk it all cuz any adventure is worth the try
worth leaving for
you brought life into my life

never trade your heart
never

.:what's it gonna be:.

i hope i'm not making a mistake
i hope i'm not wrong
i hope that when i kissed you, i did it cuz i wanted,
cuz i wanted to feel your lips
breathe your breath
taste your soul.
i hope it was that way, and not an escape,
escape from me
from my mind
from my troubles.
i hope that when i touched you, i did it cuz i desired you,
dreamed you,
wanted to feel the warmth inside of you
and not, that i was trying to forget another body
another flavor,
that past favorite meal
i hope that when i woke up next to you, i did it completely rested,
after a good dream
with that sense of safety
of home
and not cuz i was afraid of sleeping alone
of having nightmares
of being cold

i hope I'm not making a mistake
i hope I'm not wrong

but if i am
i'll do it all over again

.:mi destino:.

es extranho
pero las mujeres faciles,
esas que tienen mas de 50 nombres en sus listas,
simpre vuelven a mi
no porque sea el mejor sexo que han tenido
sino porque soy el pendejo ese que se las coje con amor.

Ja!
al final del dia todos necesitamos de eso

soy un hombre raro
me gustan las cosas grandes como el amor y esas mierdas

.:nefernefernefer:.

"- Eres obstinado, sinuhe - me dijo-
pero yo soy una mujer honrada y mantengo mis promesas.
Toma, pues, lo que has venido a buscar.
Se tendio en la cama y me abrio los brazos,
pero no hallo el menor placer en mi;
volvio la cabeza para mirarse en el espejo y ahogaba sus bostezos con una mano, de manera que el goce que esperaba se convirtio para mi en cenizas.
Mi corazon era como una piedra en mi pecho
duro y pesado, negro
no latia.-"

sinuhe, el egipcio


Ja
mierda
todos tenemos nuestra nefernefernefer
simpre ha sido asi y siempre lo sera.

.:eu tenho saudades de voce:.

you left me like that
abused
like the gum you spit as soon as the flavor is gone
you left me like that
with a mouthful of you
of your breath
covered in blood
like a corpse after the war
that stench!!
ha!
what the fuck am i supposed to do
how do i explain my self what just happened
if i have no idea of what just happened
and now, now you are gone
where are you? who are you with?,
you won't spare
but that's ok
i really don't care
you left me like that
with my mind in the toilet
swirling in the infinite whirlpool of thoughts
of a long night that lasted for days and days
nauseous
if i could have you again..
will it hurt?
eu tenho saudades de voce
voce


..your phone is off
i know what that means
you left me like that..

.:L.E.S.:.

..guey a donde vamos??

no se... donde sea...
llevame a donde haya mujeres de cascos ligeros..

.:ja:.

lo nuestro duro,
lo que duran dos cubos de hielo
en un "whiskey on the rocks"

.:la mujer que yo quiero:.

por acostarte conmigo,
la gente dice que eres la mas puta entre todas las mujeres.
Ja!!
yo digo que no,
para mi eres la mas mujer entre todas las putas.

.:kid:.

it will take me 19 days and 500 nights,
to get you off my mind

.:watch out:.

sometimes is very important to go back in order to advance
you know..
look where you came from and understand where you are going
back to basics
but it could be a very dangerous step
cuz in the conclusion of your route, at the end of your search
things could get lost or suddenly realize that things have been missplaced
or that some other just not belong any more
one should be careful of what one desires
you will loose a lot
and gain few

.:mis colores:.

es raro
cuando no estas conmigo
me muero por llamarte, hablarte
contarte de mi
mis cosas
mis razones
cerca de tus labios
tu espalda
se que te encantaria

cuando estoy a tu lado
me aturdo
me lleno de ideas, palabras
balbuceos indescifrables
al pundo de sentirme extrano
ajeno
monocromatico.

.:loco corazon:.

...estas a 8 cuadras
de mis mejores ganas de tocarte...

.:donde estoy:.

a vece la melancolia me mata
solo pienso en lo que fue,
en lo que sentia aquellos dias
el atarceder, en mi rostro, caliente
el viento, hacia que mis brazos se pusieran chinitos
"se siente como domingo.." pensaba
hoy no siento eso, no tengo porque
y eso me da miedo
ayer las cosas que hacia las hacia por gusto, porque era yo
hoy las hago por vivir
por comer
ya se que el ayer nunca vendra
ya se que deberia hacer lo que me gusta
pero hay tantos factores que me lo impiden
ahora ya no estoy solo
gente depende de mi

ayer sonhaba contigo
en como meterme a tu casa
sin que nadie se diera cuenta
despues de una fiesta al aire libre
de esas donde la gente vomitaba entre los arbustos
tocarte
con aliento alcoholico y mis manos temblorosas

ayer me borregueaba con el perfume de la lata a media noche
con la adrenalina al tope
mientras el frio me penetraba
pero me gustaba estar ahi
solo
ahora, no hay latas, no hay frio, no hay nada
en las calles solo hay gente que conozco
ya no me puedo esconder
ya no puedo debrallar y ni siquiera tengo la fuerza para hacerlo
(eso me mata)
me gustaria volverlo a vivir
ese tiempo
donde era fuerte
joven
sin miedo
ahora
ahora todo es diferente
todo es lo contrario
vivo con temor
en un lugar donde dicha libertad no existe
todo mundo sabe lo que haces
y todo lo que haces esta mal

quiero volver a entregarme
quiero volver a enamorarte
asi
alocadamente
entre la tarde y la escarcha
si solo me dieras esas horas
si solo supieras lo que algun dia fui
a lo mejor hoy no te parezca tan patetico
tan viejo
tan otro

.:palin:.

her policies, if any, are ludicrous.
pit bull in lipstick???
PURE demagogy.
are US politics that poor?
i feel like i'm in Mexico..
i'm so ashamed.

God Bless America

.:$$:.

when the money is so thick
it makes you heart go numb,
it makes your mind get sick

.:hey doc:.

its just a prostate infection..
why don't you try jerking off a bit more frequent....

.:balance:.

.-there is nothing impossible

well i know what you mean, i used to think that way, but i have come to the conclusion that a lot of things are impossible to do.
you know, to keep the balance

.- i don't know, i still think that everything is possible

well, no one can unscramble scrambled-eggs

.- ...hmmm..., that's a tough one.....

.:hmm:.

well, if we go back enough
we all come from the same monkey...

.:growing up:.

when we are kids
we have lots of friends,
then when we grow up
every one goes on its own direction,
and at the end
if we are lucky we get stock with one woman
and maybe one friend.

.:cake:.

when you sleep,
where do your fingers go?

.:neon:.

el timepo vuela
hace 3 dias, me levantaba temprano
nervioso,
con ganas de levantarme pero con mucho miedo de salir
escuchaba "hot music form the 20's and 30's" mientras mopeaba el piso de condesa
servia cafe con una sonrisa
mientras que en mi espalda la angustia me taladraba hasta los huesos
estaba motivado por mi nueva aventura,
pero aterrado del proceso
hace 6 dias te recojia del hard rock cafe
tomamos mucho y nos reimos..
hace 10 dias C.R.E.A.M. (cash rules everything around me)

hoy... nada es igual

no hay nada eretno
no puedo parar

.:nostalgia:.

some times i get nostalgia attacks
like a brumey chilly sunday morning
like something bad or sad that happened
or someone that never came and im still waiting for
maybe like time has stopped and im all by myself
this days i feel like smoking

.:calderon:.

Jamas seras mi Presidente.

.:ben:.

I don't know if my wife left me because of my drinking
or I started drinking 'cause my wife left me.

.:cake:.

last night i said to her
i didn't want to live inside a lie
if she wants him more than she wants me
let this be.

she'll come back to me.....

.:she'll come back to me:.

and once again
this disgust
in my insides,
in my guts
a blend of desperation and love
of tragedy and hope
of me without you
its been 45 days
since you took your love away
nowhere to be found
not in my bed
not in that 1994 Joseph Phepls
plenty of sadness though
but maybe
maybe tonight ill get to see you
at least in my dreams
if there's some of that left for me
or, maybe not

.:appo:.

Por nuestros presos,
por nuestros muertos
por nuestros desaparecidos,
ni un paso atras

.:cafe bari:.

- hey, so what can i get for you

hmm.. ,hmm... can i get... can i get a kiss

- haha, a kiss?, sorry we dont sell those.

ah..well, so then.. can i get a kiss??

- ahh.. nop

ok, so just a regular small and a kiss.



despues de pagar le tuve que robar un beso,
pense que mi iba a cachetear frente a todo el mundo..

me sonrio

.:missing you:.

but i know you are fine
cause since you are gone
i have sent the moon every night to check on you
when we meet, she tells me all you've done, how beautiful you look from up there,
that you dream with me,
that sometimes when you look up you smile.
im there with the moon
you are here with my heart
we are together in our soul

.:maxim no2:.

impossible is not a fact
is an opinion.

.:n-a-s-i-r:.

Now we're knockin on your mama's door
Like; "we came to fix the sink", my kind of war

.:para ti:.

si esta va para ti

Woman learns how to hate
to the extent that she unlearns
how-to charm.

.:wonders?:.

I'm no literate, scholar or anything like that,
however i think, i understand pretty well the definition of "wonder"
which is :
"One that arouses awe, astonishment, surprise, or admiration; a marvel:
An event inexplicable by the laws of nature; a miracle"

Neither the Christ in Rio, the Statue of Liberty nor the Kremlin (among others) makes me wonder, but thats just me. i don't deny their architectural magnificence , very impressive indeed, but no wonders...
just my .2c

.:where are u:.

its amazing how depression feeds our fears,
twits our minds in very dangerous ways,
makes us weak to the point of loosing control.
they say one should keep active in order not to think.
but is so difficult.

Lord help my poor soul...

.:yorba my way:.

i had fifteen people telling me "don't move!!!"
i got moving on my mind

.:maxims no1:.

one should not go into church
if one wants to breath pure air

.:comun??:.

el sentido comun,
es el menos comun de todos los sentidos

.:be transparent:.

How poisonous,
how cunning,
how bad every protracted war makes one
when it cannot be waged with open force

.:amarte no duele:.

en el amor, me encontre a mi mismo,
la mayoria ama para perderse.

.:women:.

ah,
Women!
they make
the highs
higher and
the lows
more frequent

.:so shut the fuck up:.

Complaining is never of any use: it comes from weakness.

.:where u at:.

With so much personality,
what do you want from me?
I could be by myself and enjoy the company

.:delixires:.

si les gustan los vinos y quieren aprender un poco mas
les pido visiten este nuevo blog delixires
para el cual estoy colaborando,
antes tenia el vino del mes aqui en mi blog pero ahora trato de escribir regularmente en delixires
asi que ya sabes delixires
para aprender de vino delixires
si necesitas comprar un vino para impresionar a la chamaca y no sabes cual delixires
si quieres ponerte una pedota delixires

.:never let go:.

iv'e been living a dream..
... but now that dream has gone
away from me

.:never stop:.

well, so its been a while
i haven't had the time to stop, think and regenerate
create my master plan...

i did become my dream,
but i settled into it, i stopped pushing
i've been really busy living my own quotidianity.
after all, history repeats itself,
cause we tend to forget.

however here i am,
dreaming, thinking, hoping,
pushing,
i have a dream!!
and once again
i want to become my dream.

.:error:.

mi falla hasta este momento en mi vida
es pensar que todo el mundo piensa como yo

no!! no emir!!
no todo mundo piensa como tu...

.:pero querias un restaurante:.

simpre quise abrir un negocio,
pues, para dejar de trabajar...
desde que lo abri
trabajo el doble....

.:el mundo se acaba:.

algo me pasa, me siento raro
como que no quiero saber de nadie
solo quiero quedarme en mi casa y dormir
asi como tu..
ja

- yo digo que algo pasa, no se , en el mundo....

je! si, ya sentimos que se va a acabar!!!

- No?!

ja

Mierda

- Si!!

.:so young:.

how is it that are we so young and caring ourselves towards distinction
20 years ago we didn't have Internet
30 years ago there was no computes nor home video
40 years ago TV was black and white
100 years ago there was no car
150 no light bulb
180 no steam engine
and before that it was so steady for centuries
now, now is to far for us to reach

.:the man i used to be:.

things that i said i would never do
I DID THEM

.:once again:.

Lord help my poor soul.

.:phoenix:.

it appears this is my first entry in over six mionths

.:about me:.

i not a smart man, but i do know love.

.:bizarre:.

women have the amazing ability to.......

.:paradox I:.

isn't it funny,
IV (intravenous injections) "Pain-killers" hurt so bad ??
hmm,..... my back isn't hurting anymore
but i cant move my arm....

.:going solo:.

things are working out pretty smoothly
is my first experience doing this, so obviously
i get frustrated on laws and extra procedures
i was not expecting or counting on,
but over all, i can say that its going on the right track
and pretty solid.
I'm amassed of all you can learn by going solo
not just professionally but mentally
emotionally and overall as a human
am so happy i took this decision
im gonna make it

.:primer anho:.

bueno pues también por acá cumplimos el primer anho de blog.
y digo por acá porque varios de mis compadres blogeros andan de cumpleanheros también
denles una leida les recomiendo

lado b

defecito

q-_-p mind streams

coltrane playing tristessa

gracias a todos los que me han leído y escrito su opinión
muchos de sus comentarios cambiaron mi vida
me hicieron ver mis problemas y soluciones
me ayudaron, me dieron la mano
y como no... sirvieron de guia
gracias
los tengo en mi corazón.


well i fulfilled my first year of this blog.
thanks to all of you that read me
and left their .02cents
many of them changed my life
made me see my problems and solutions,
helped me, gave a hand,
guide me.....
thanks
you are in my heart.

.:another year:.

wow, im surprised how much my life has changed in the last year
in all the aspects of my life..
love
work
living
thinking
im a different man,
and all as result of what i loss.
im so mature, so aware so humble and grateful of all whats happened
even if what happens, is a bad experience or gets me sad
ive learned that the is no bad experience.
every experience will have positive effect on me
no matter how harsh this is
im ready to take the risks
im happy of felling free

.:nuk:.

En la amorosa noche me aflijo,
le pido su secreto,
mi secreto,
la interrogo en mi sangre largamente.
Ella no me responde
y hace como mi madre,
que me cierra los ojos sin oirme
JS.

Gracias
Te QUIERO y te extranho MUCHO

.:cada noche:.

hay dias que quisiera ser como Doggie Houser
y escribir cada noche antes de dormir en mi blog
pero no siempre hay tiempo o ganas........

.:funny:.

check this out,
go to Google homepage
tipe the word "failure"
and hit the "i'm feeling lucky" button
ha
Funny or Phony??

.:feel free:.

well i don't have the answers to all the questions.
in fact
every answer leads to another question.
the only thing I'm certain of is that life is for us to live.
If you knew what you are here for,
you would do nothing but just that,
and sit there waiting for "that" to happen.
Instead you have no idea of whats reason for being here,
and then you will fight and wonder, and cry and make love,
and feel happy or sad.
if you knew all the answers to all the questions
how boring would it be,
knowing every reaction to any other action.....
thats not life.
thats not living
thats not for humans
so feel free to enjoy.
dont shy...

.:2 j ho:.

well what can i say...
you should start inside of you. That's what you taught me,
remember??
its said that when in confusion or in drakes,
a voice wont make sense, there's only silence.
You silence yourself, you exclude yourself form the rest
and being that far no one can help you.
but only you.
when i was in darkness, in confusion, you made me look inside of me
and this is what i learned;
When you don't know where to go, forgot what what your looking for,
or don't know which is the next step.
Look backwards, see where you come from, know who you are.
When in confusion there is no better guide than love.
its all in you, but you have to let go.
you are beautiful
you are gorgeous
i wanna see your blog and if you still don't have one,
make one public where you will receive feedback
from someone that you don't know, someone far away.
that feels the same you do and then you will realize that you are not
as lost as you thought, as weird, as different.
i wanna see you soon

.:vino del mes:.

Bueno pues ya era hora para el vino del mes, que hace meses no recomiendo ningino.
Una vez mas le toca al grupo de Alejandro Fernandez (ya saben que soy fan del tempranillo asi que me gustan mucho los vinos espanoles)
pero en esta ocacion le toco a la bodega de Pesquera
Pesquera "Crianza" de la DO Ribera del Duero Espana 2002.
Realmente rico este vino, es dificil describirlo ya que no tiene las caracteristicas tipicas que me gustan del temprenillo , aunque es 100% tempranillo. De cuerpo medio, tirandole a completo pero a mi parecer un poco aguado , con taninos fuertes y de gran final, se asemeja mucho a un pinot noir. Este vino es un claro ejemplo de que el tempranillo es primo-hermano de la uva pinot noir.
Lo recomiendo con carne roja termino medio-rojo a medio y en particular con cordero
costillas de cordero, o pierna de cordera marinada en menta ,,,
este vino explotara completamente el sabor muy particular del coprdero y en general las especias.
Decantenlo por lo menos 10 minutos, recomiendo 20, ya que esta muy apretado y si quieren oler y degustar esos tonos frutales y ahumados del roble dejenlo descanzar un rato (cuando digo decantar me refiero a vaciar TODO el vino en un decantador o en orto recipiente, para facilitar la oxidacion, y no nada mas abrir la botella y dejarla parada..).
Espero lo disfuten y si tienen alguna recomendacion y/o sugerencia ya sabe que hacer..
SALUD

.:do you?:.

oh, if i do?!....
i realy do.

.:about sex:.

so sexual orientation definition :
if you have sex with a person of different sex as yours, you are heterosexual,
if you have a sex with a person of same sex as you, then you are a homosexual (now a days homosexuality has acquired multiple meanings).
if you have sex with people, both, your sex and the opposite, you are bisexual..
my point is;
if in the case that a man and a woman in a stable relationship have sex, but... but this is by her using a strap and penetrating him in every single occasion that they have had sex (with out him penetrating her), what does this make them????

.:sigalo consigalo:.

Yo Decreto
que todo va a salir bien
y que voy encontrar el lugar
en donde vamos a triunfar

.:over yet?:.

its been over a day and its still raining..
i like the noise and the aroma or rain but im kinda bored now,
there is not much to do in a 400sf APT..

.:z.a.t.u:.

por eso, la mejor medicina; EL BESO
te cura el alma, y bien dado..
incluso te lo pone tiezo.

.:trabalenguas:.

el rey de parangacutirimicuaro se queiere
desparangacutimicuarizar el que logre
desparangacutimicuarizarlo
un buen
desparangacutirimicurizador sera..

es correcto????

.:my luck:.

just wanna share some of my good luck with all of you

.:octubre en NY:.

hoy fue un dia precioso en NY, clasico de la temporada..
despejado , antre 16 y 19 grados,
sol imponente super brillante y enorme,
con una brisa medio fria que avisa la llegada del invierno..
para aquellos que no conocen la ciudad,
les recomiendo ampliamente venir en estas
fechas, principios de octubre o finales de septiembre,
solo dura como 3 semanas y es espectacular.. precioso!!
tambien se puede apreciar un poco en primavera
por ahi de mayo pero es mas dificil atinarle.
no puedo decir que he viajado por todo el mundo y que he visto
ciudades bellisimas y esas cosas, si he tenido mis vacaciones en lugares
alrededor del globo pero nada fuera de lo comun
pero podria decir que NY en otonho es mi favorita.

.:la mala:.

la vida son dos dias y uno hace feo...

.:quotidianity:.

sometimes, quotidianity takes over our life, thoughts, feelings.
creating an unbearable way of acting, of not doing nor reaching anything,
of not having an illusion or passion for anything, of just letting go.
its easy, its the simplest way to live. its nice, nice is good....
but what is life with out a dream to live for?
whats life without passion
whats life without living
whats life without you?
become your dream

.:chaos:.

there's no error within chaos
en el caos no hay error

.:de la vega 2:.

i just bought real state, in your mind.

.:consigalo:.

become your dream...

.:a donde van:.

y pensar en lo que alejo por no conocer mis propios limites humanos,
mis propias fallas

.:vivir:.

el chiste de todo esto es intentarlo
que nada quede en ti o de ti
dalo todo como puedas, pero dalo!
no te quedes con las ganas y algun dia lejano lamentarte de ello.
todo esta escrito asi que no la vas a cagar y si no lo esta , lo escribiras a tu manera
a tu vida a como quieres que te sepa
a rancheritos o a rufles
a ti, con tu sello.
si salio mal, pues ya te retacharan y de nuevo a darle.
si sale bien pues encontraras tu mano y tu ojo, te encontraras con los tuyos
y de nuevo esperar al momento de elegir tu camino.
no la desperdicies porque solo en esta seras, tu.

.:de nuevo por aca:.

ahh pues despues de unas buenas vacaciones,
me veo en la necesidad de escribir en estas paginas de nuevo,
por el bien de mi cabeza de mi corazon y por muchas otras personas que estan a mi alrededor.
muchas cosas han pasado muchas an cambiado muchas en el mismo lugar y del mismo tamanho
mucho amor
mucha esperanza
mucho trabajo
abundancia..
eso hay en mi vida
abundancia
aprendi a vivir de hoy para hoy y hasta hoy me la he pasado como nunca
ya saben, me gustan esas cosas grandes como el amor y esas mierdas
pero aqui sigo mas vivo que nunca y mas sencible al mismo tiempo

i thought about

i thought about you touching my face with your face.
breathing your sent,
watching your beautiful eyes letting me into your soul,
skin vs skin, touching hands, worm bed, alcohol in our veins, endless
thoughts, craving lips, silk touch, node feet, sweating thighs.
i thought about you
from 14th to 53rd and back

.:lovely New York:.

Long ago when i started my blog i wrote this feeling that i had from New York
i was lonely, confused, scared, desperate, lost.
with the time, i understood what was happening in my head.
i understood that i was depressed,
and the reason of it,
i would say that i saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
but, how to reach it?
i seemed impossible, i wanted to get out of the stupor,
i wanted to feel alive (even though by all this suffering i knew i was alive)
i wanted to feel you
and i don't know why
i don't know when
i don't know from where
you appeared
tarrrraaaannnnnn
there
in my mind
in my heart
in my lips
i liked you
you helped me, you were there for me.
it was not easy neither for you nor for me
we doubt it
we though about it
but at the end
look what we have accomplished
a New York full of illusions
of love
of magic
of joy in the streets
romantic
with no failures, madness nor regrets
easy living, tolerant
the impossible know is reality
thanks
thanks to YOU
i LOVE YOU
even though you are not with me

.:quiero saber:.

quiero saber
alma mia, dejame por una noche una vez en el otro
para hacer sentir a mi amor lo que no sintio conmigo
yo quiero saber, quiero saber...

.:hace un ahno:.

Cuanto ha cambiado tu vida en un anho?
cuanto has dejado de vivir en un anho?
cuanta tristeza puedes sentir en un anho?
cuanto puedes perder en un anho?
cuanto duele un anho?
cuanto cuesta un anho??
que es un anho!?

despues de un anho solo se que yo ya no soy yo,
que tu ya no estas aqui y que nada, NADA dura para siempre.