.:thank you:.

Feeling like shit this year, i usually like the holidays, but this one i don’t even feel myself. Its been a tough year.
holidays are supposed to be spent around the people you love or at least the once you care about the most. i have alienated myself from all of them, and now im here just by myself with my stupid computer and a glass of wine.
i guess that would be my love

.:too fast:.

Met a girl at a bar last night, we had drinks giggles and danced, we made out at the counter like there was no tomorrow. We had a late night snack and went to her place, had sex all night long and then a cigarette. Woke up early this morning and went to buy groceries, cooked a kick ass brunch and cuddle on her couch. Talked about family affairs and life. Later on she sent me a Facebook friend request. I told her, darling you are going too fast….

.:just found:.

".....glass half empty, glass half fullwe broke the glass emir we swam in the ocean emir
we took each other places emir, ugly and crazy and beautiful, more beautiful than we will ever go, because somewhere in our souls, we understand each other.
we love each other.
we want to stay, because of a look in the other's eyes, or a crook in the other's smile.
we will stay, even if we leave each other, we will be together."

just found your letter on my laptop
made me cry

.:me:.

the best thing about sorrow
is finding yourself at the bottom of the well

.:regrese:.

a la maldicion del cajon sin su ropa...

.:paro:.

...que razon tenias amparo!!

.:zapatos:.

te envío mis zapatos por correo
para que los uses y
pongas mis pies en tus pies

la próxima vez que bailes
hasta creerás que estas conmigo

.:kid:.

wish we could have talked

.:asi:.

cuando te veo asi
con tus ojos asi
y te huelo ahi
y te siento aqui
cuando te acercas a mi
con tu boca asi
y tu pelo asi
y te quiero ahi
cuando te vas de mi
con tus ojos asi

.:conmigo:.

Creo que me cayo muy bien que me dejaras
me siento bien,
me veo mejor en el espejo.
Estoy lleno de suenhos, de deseos, de ideas.
Paso el tiempo creando nuevos caminos
y menos pensando en los que deje de recorrer contigo.
Estas justo donde querias estar
lejos, sola.
Alla, en el olvido.
y yo, cada dia mas conmigo.

.: o Leaozinho:.

"Gosto muito de te ver leãozinho
Caminhando sob o sol
Gosto muito de você leãozinho
Para desentristecer leãozinho
O meu coração tão só
Basta eu encontrar você no caminho
Um filhote de leão, raio da manhã
Arrastando o meu olhar como um ímã
O meu coração é o sol, pai de toda cor
Quando ele lhe dura a pele ao leão
Gosto de te ver ao sol leãozinho
De ter ver entrar no mar
Tua pele, tua luz, tua juba
Gosto de ficar ao sol leãozinho
De molhar minha juba
De estar perto de você
E entrar numa"

Caetano Veloso

.:let her go:.

“Let her go into the darkness, let her learn from all the things there” nathan-james

.:is this it:.

Back to basics i always say, and here i am, down in Mexico.
My mind is a mess, just like a tangle knitting yarn,
but family always feels right, especially when the spirits ain't high.
Saw some old friends and made me realize how far apart one can grow.
Its scary,
we have absolutely nothing in common,
apart that stupid joke i said in 7th grade,
or the girl we all kissed, which by the way is also something to forget.
Met new people which makes me feel like there is hope,
and that at the end, everything will be alright.
she is where she wants to be, far away,
and i
i am slowly finding myself.

.:pizzeria kamikaze:.

“Creo que ella lloro en mi entierro; no es que quiera darmelas
de listo pero estoy casi seguro se ello. A veces hasta consigo
imaginarme como le habla de mi, de mi muerte, a alguien
cercano a ella. De como me bajaron a la tumba, tan menudo y
desamparado, como una tableta de chocolate rancio. De como,
en realidad nunca llegamos a hacerlo del todo. Y despues de eso
el se la coge brindandole un revolcon que es todo consauelo.”

— Etgar Keret 

.:my love:.

i feel my love has been shot down cold blood,
now i wonder what went wrong
retracing all of our days looking for my faults
i find sleepless nights and none of them yours

.:9.11.01:.

Our nation, this generation, will lift the dark threat of violence from our people and our future. We will rally the world to this cause by our efforts, by our courage. We will not tire, we will not falter and we will not fail.

George W. Bush

.:la verdad:.

uno es uno y ya.

.:kid:.

para ti, ni una lagrima mas.

.:nuk #X:.

Tu al igual que yo sabemos que el tiempo poco a poco va alejando la memoria y los sentimientos.
Es como ver una lanchita irse mar adrentro
como que quiere y como que no,
pero al final, de la vida se va.
Desaparece.
Nos queda en la idea pero ya no es tangible,
ni el dolor ni el sabor

.:fuck greece:.

I ask you;
"please, lets not have this conversation via email."
and what do you do??
you write me an email....
you cant even give me that?
I've given you time, space and freedom to do whatever you want.

that what is wrong??
...well... everything!

I'm so tired of waking up at 4 am and reading an email of yours that just keeps making me cry.
Leaving me with out being able to sleep.

I've been trying to put my life together,
little by little,
my restaurant, my family, my heart, my mind.
I don't want to keep going on this way.
Do you understand?

If you want to tell me something at least have the courage to call.
And please don't tell me its impossible, because that is bullshit!!
An email about a guy kissing you was the best you could do?
You drop a couple of lines justifying yourself and saying how it all went wrong??
yeah! i can tell you are sad,
i can tell you fell the same way i do. HA!
An email about how you went out with all your friends that you just met and that you all got drunk and dance and made out with someone.
But no it was not your fault????!!!

No one comes out of the bloom and gives you a kiss, no one!!
You probably flirted with him as you usually do, and you cant seem to control it.

You can't keep hiding, you have to learn to confront your problems,
and yes this is A problem.
CALL and tell me what happened, why it all started.
You can't be that coward
Please don't lie to yourself, all that's happening you brought it upon you,
open your eyes.
I've done nothing, not one single thing!
not one!!!

Every day i'm growing more confused and more doubtful about why i even talk to you
or care about you.
I don't want to be mad
I don't want to be bitter
I want to be a nice person the person that i am!
I am a nice, respectful and honest person.
That is Emir Dupeyron

.:what will it be:.

Maybe you can take me out sometime,
maybe you can invite me to dinner,
maybe you can buy me flowers, or a drink,
maybe you can kiss me without asking,
maybe tell me that you want me,
maybe you can write me a poem or sing me a song,
maybe you can just post a message on my Facebook,
maybe invite me to a concert or to the water front,
maybe you can make love to me.
Or maybe just none at all.

.:bellevue chronicles:.

that night, you didn't want to see me. you hadn't been wanting to for some time
and i felt like every day that passed, you drifted further and further away.
there i was in Brooklyn. hot summer night. sticky skin, heart broken.
with the curse of your empty drawers, a continuous reminder that you would never come back.
tried to call you in the middle of the night. i knew you were out, i knew you were happy
i was not. i wasn't well, juggling on the thin line of insanity.
the usual happened, u didn't answer. not for some time
shaking, shivering, hallucinating, dizzy, confused. that was me
that night i lost all.
i was having a panic attack, i suffer of those, and decided
the hospital was a better place to die, at least someone would notice.
you called back, you were out, you were having fun.
i was dying
shortly after you were there, confused and something else, only you know..
i was dying
they police took me to the doctor, and wouldn't let me go, after all it was a mental institution. i turned around while they walked me to a secluded area.
you were crying.
i was dying
at some point i felt i would never leave the joint, like a character in a garcia marquez short story.
here i am, writing it in my leaving room
still dying
and you? i wish you the best.

.:late night:.

i really like seeing your name on the screen of my cell phone

.:buda:.

While the sun hides behind Buda,
your silhouette slowly disappears into the darkens
of the nothing.

That far i cant touch you.

My hands melt and i look into the horizon,
red like blood,
with the smell of you.
But still that taste in my throat and that sting
makes me shiver.

The white heads walk frantically,
with a look of redemption.

At the end i don't want us to repent
but to have enjoyed

.:you are back:.

Dear catastrophe waitress
you are back